Big Fat Real Estate Checks Ep 174: Goals, Growth, and Getting Uncomfortable: The Journey to Your Best Self

Please enjoy this transcript, but please note that it may contain a few typos. With many episodes lasting over 2 hours, it can be challenging to catch minor errors. Enjoy!

Marco Kozlowski
everyone, welcome to big fat real estate checks. This is Marco Kozlowski, and I’m here with Gabriel. Just

Gabriel Araish
go. I’ll

Marco Kozlowski
never do that again. Welcome back from a little hiatus. We took some time off and went back at it. Took some time off again. This is like a full time job. Just doing this podcast. We always want to give you the best, most funnest, awesomest, coolest ever contentist, and here we are to really just have some fun with you guys. The objective of this podcast is always to give you some great insights, some cutting edge information, actionable stuff, and have some fun at the same time. And today, we’re going to be discussing a little bit of mindset stuff, a little bit of a little bit of mojo, that if your head’s on straight, you can do a lot of things. If your head’s on crooked, you’re going to have to see a chiropractor. And if it’s too crooked, I don’t know, maybe it will be listed this, because you’ll be in the ground. So, yeah, so frank Gabe, we haven’t really this is our first day back from a couple months now, if not doing this. And what do we want to talk about today? What, what’s, what’s, what’s, what’s the topic of discussion?

Frank
Well, I think with our powwow, an hour before this,

Marco Kozlowski
for a whole hour prior to this,

Gabriel Araish
set up a podcast, we were discussing your background, Frank background,

Frank
which I don’t know what you’re gonna see when you see this podcast. If you do listen to it or watch it, we’re talking about mindset. Mindset, basically your your how your present, your future and your past, how they co mingle with one another. And I think there’s a false belief out there that many think that you know who you are today is based on your past. And there’s some true to

Marco Kozlowski
that, hang on. So who we are today is based on our past. Is that true? Tick, tick, tick, tick, or false? Who we are at this time, not necessarily where we’re going or what our future dictates, right? Are you drinking a beer? No.

Gabriel Araish
So it’s Montpelier with 5% alcohol. So it’s not a beer, no, it’s like a hard water, yeah,

Frank
guys, not a hard locker tequila drink. Frank’s

Gabriel Araish
hard rock.

Frank
That’s a great idea for next time I’m going to have a tequila drink. Next time,

Marco Kozlowski
I think every time we say something silly, we have to take a drink.

Gabriel Araish
You’re going to be screwed after one.

Frank
Yeah? Actually,

Gabriel Araish
I’m in for that. No kidding. Had practice for years,

Marco Kozlowski
so I stopped drinking after the accident, so

Gabriel Araish
I’ve

Frank
been at Marcos, because when Marco’s taking a drink, his glass is so transparent I can see the background.

Marco Kozlowski
Yeah, well, it’s because of my Yeah, if you’re

Frank
so, if you’re watching, if you’re not watching this podcast, stop, go to YouTube or whatever. Watch this podcast and look at it. It’s

Marco Kozlowski
floating in the air semester.

Gabriel Araish
Going to say where you are in your present right now is dictated by your past, because it’s, it’s the result you are, the result of your actions up to now. I just think that you’re now could also be dictated by your future. Oh, so does anybody want to elaborate on that? Because so

Marco Kozlowski
you’re now is dictated by your future? Because most think that my future is going to be dictated by all the shit that’s happened in the past, right?

That’s right. Frank,

Marco Kozlowski
I know this is, this is this is something you’re all excited about because,

Frank
well, because, if you think about it, it, listen, people set goals, right? People set goals. Goals? Well, they do set goals, right? Well, you should be setting goals. If you’re not setting goals, then goals, even if they’re shitty, goals go, you’re still setting a goal, goals, and that goal goals, right? And that goal is going to drive you your behavior today. So basically, whatever your goal is, or whatever you want to be, whatever you want to achieve, in your head, you’re behaving today to achieve that. So basically, your future dictates how you behave in your presence. So I’m going to give an example. Well, let’s take Marco family. I don’t know if I can disclose this, but one of your depends on what you’re disclosing. One of your other, one of your other kids is having, well, you’re already grandfather, so you’re going to be a grandfather twice. I’m September, but your your other so. Son is having work is expecting a baby right now, his wife, they’re present. Lonnie is because his wife is but he had some he

Gabriel Araish
had something. 12 seconds of action. Yes.

Frank
Oh, that’s pretty good. 12

seconds, pretty

Marco Kozlowski
good. All he did is do what every guy thinks about. 24 seconds a day.

Frank
We’re proud of it. Yay, he

did it. We’re proud of

Frank
it. So boys can swim, okay, his relationship with his wife. And said once they found that news out, their behavior changed from that instant going forward for the nine months or whatever, right? Or the first trimester, second trimester, third semester. So their present is then changed. Their behaviors changed for that time when they had the baby. So yes, what you’re molded to what you’re let’s go back a little bit your history, right? Your past is dictating what you are today, because today is where you had your dreams and ambitions or lack of today, or or lack of but you you are, so now you’re always going towards the future. So it was like back to the future. So if you go to the, well, I’m the thing running the wrong. Let’s just back. Let’s just, let’s go back. 10 years. 10 years, I had goals, right? I did actually, goals, buddy, goals, goals. What am I saying? Am I saying goals? Goals?

Gabriel Araish
No, no, you’re saying goals just because you said it about 40 times so far in the you don’t like the goals, goals. Oh, goals, goals. Someone’s going to count these and put them there’s going

Marco Kozlowski
to be whoever can count all the goals, the number of times we say goals, goals, goals,

Frank
we’ll send you a case for tequila. No, we’re, we are.

Marco Kozlowski
Don’t say that. Can’t do that. Frank, not Marco, we’ll send you like Super Troopers, yes, yes, yes.

Frank
So we’re 10 years now. Marco, 10 years, 10 years,

Marco Kozlowski
10 years, 10 years.

Frank
It’s 10 years. Yeah, we

Marco Kozlowski
have our 10 year anniversary. We have 10 years

Gabriel Araish
August, 20% of your life, yeah.

Frank
But anyways, going back 10 years, I had a goal, and that goal, that’s scary, was to arrive today. So I behaved for the last 10 years to get to this point where I am today. Now I have other goals, obviously, bigger goals, ambitious goals, I’m just saying the goals now for people’s account goals. So I have more ambitious so it’s going to change my behavior today to get to that future point.

Gabriel Araish
Okay, let’s, let’s look at another theory. Then what if you you foresee your future and what you want to be, and then that becomes kind of your goal and your focus, and then your actions end up being derived from that vision that you have set for yourself and your focus. So it’s kind of backwards, where your future is pulling you into it.

Marco Kozlowski
You gotta explain that to Yeah, to those that don’t understand, does

Gabriel Araish
that make sense? Like so your your future self is who you you view, so where you want to be. So it’s almost similar, like goals, but in 10 years, here’s what Gabriel is in 10 years, whatever it is, you know, whether it’s a family event, wealth, health, you name it, whatever you envision yourself in 10 years, what you’re going to look like. And then every action you take from that point on is is basically being molded by that vision that you have of yourself in the future. So it is indirectly a goal, but it’s the future that’s kind of attracting your directing your present actions, as opposed to you in the present starting to make actions to potentially reach a goal in the future. So your goal is achieved in the future. You know this, and now it’s just about your present being attracted to it, and your actions are going to reflect what needs to be happening in order for you to be that person in the future. Yes,

Frank
that’s well put it’s exactly right. Now, if you have a j o b, people go into a j o b, hopefully they can go up the corporate ladder, retire at 5560, whatever the retirement age. Now, 80, I don’t know, right? That’s some people’s goal, and that’s what they do. They behave in that matter, to retire and

Marco Kozlowski
but the issue sometimes is that you, if you’re working for someone else, and you are, have this expectation that I’m going to work a certain amount of hours, I’m going to get to a certain point, I’m going to put in the, you know, my time so my company recognized me, so I can recognizes me so I can get to, you know, up the corporate ladder, but other people are possibly competing for that same thing, right? So now, just because you’re putting in the time and the reps doesn’t mean that you’re necessarily going to achieve that goal, because someone else is making the decision on your behalf instead of you making that decision on your behalf. So I just want to

Frank
say, I’m not saying to follow that goal, because that goal, I don’t like that goal.

Marco Kozlowski
I had that goal. You had that goal. I had that you hung your your basically, people want to climb the corporate ladder, right? They realize in the middle, at the top of the ladder, that they put their ladder on the wrong building, or the wrong side, right? The corporate ladder is the wrong position in the wrong line. Okay, right? So there’s no more climbing. It’s that’s at the end of the ladder, and you’ll see higher ladder somewhere else. So the I love the pull analogy, right? Because you’re literally like, like an elastic or slingshot or rubber band, right? Depending on which country you’re from, you’re basically being thrust forward into wherever your future vision is, but make sure whatever your future vision is, there’s a there’s a you had the the path in order to get there, there has to be obstacles.

Frank
Well, if there’s no obstacles, that your goal is is there’s probably nothing at the end of it. So,

Marco Kozlowski
so I actually got to be honest, I heard something, and I got to repeat it. It’s, it’s, I didn’t even expect this to come out of my mind today. All right, so it’s if you were to, if you knew that in 18 years, there was a aliens were going to invade the planet, like the the planet was doomed, but you were given a superpower to create a human being or something, some entity that had the skill, the ability, the could speak the language like, could really save the world, I’m talking like, completely changed the path of our entire species, because you knew in 18 years for sure this was coming, right? But you were given an opportunity to save the world, but not by yourself, but by creating this entity. And you could do you could mold it any way that you want. Okay, in this in this scenario. Now it would be the smartest, the fastest you know, have all the skills necessary to defeat whatever’s coming. Okay, the stage is set. It now. This thing needs to grow and develop right now. Would you want to have it go through an easy path in order to conquer an enemy that will definitely destroy the world? Or should the path be as challenging as possible to be able to handle the challenges coming forward in its absolute, guaranteed future

Gabriel Araish
obstacles or No, gotta be hard, it’s

Marco Kozlowski
gotta be hard. It’s gotta be hard. So we already know, like, if you’ve answered the question yourself, we already know the path is through it being difficult, the obstacles are necessary to get to our future self. Just remember that

Gabriel Araish
100% Well, it’s, it’s funny, because it’s most, probably most listeners, have their own story of that. And it could be positive or negative. I know mine was negative where, you know, I had an easy time in school all the time, right? You know what? Grade school, high school it was, it was easy, straight A’s, the works. Then I hit college, what a browner. And then it got it got really hard. It got, like, really hard, really fast, and I had a hard time keeping up, and I wanted to quit, and because I wasn’t challenged up until that time. But when I got challenged, it was challenged at a at the highest level. It’s just like athletes who are always the best in their class, and they don’t have to work hard, and then they get to, like, this higher level of elite where they’re near the professional ranks, or even at the professional ranks. But now everybody has that same talent. The difference is going to be the work that you put in the challenges that you’ve overcome to get there. So if you’ve been challenged in the past, any challenge, whether it’s another human or something else, it’s going to be something that you’re like, Okay, I’ve seen this before. All I got to do is just, you know, put in the extra reps, put in the extra time, whatever it is that’s extra work, whereas if you’ve never faced that adversity, you may just hit that wall and say, You know what, this isn’t for me. I’m going to quit and move on to something else, because you’re used to everything being easy. So if it’s not easy anymore, then that means it’s not for you, and this is probably exactly what you’re alluding to Marco with that story. And I know that I’ve lived in an I’ve had to shift my mindset to embrace obstacles, embrace problems, and welcome them into my life, because I know that my future self is going to only benefit from that

Marco Kozlowski
100% 100% 100% and if, if you, if you knew that you were going to die in a week, just to prove a point, if you knew one week from now you’re dead, you wouldn’t be listening this podcast right now. No, we wouldn’t be recording this podcast. If I knew I was dead in a week like guaranteed you’re dead in a week, I wouldn’t be here, be doing the things that matter the most, right? So I would Dick my this behavior now that I would have for that next week, like I’d rack up my credit cards as much as possible, because I’m dead, they don’t care, right? I’m I’m gonna enjoy myself literally, right? Because I don’t know the money anymore. It’s, that’s credit card companies problem. I don’t recommend doing that, by the way. That was a joke, all right, yeah, so, so it’s, it’s a it’s, it’s my behavior. People would look at me think I’m crazy, but I know I’m dead in a week, so I don’t care what people think, because I’m just going to do what I got to do, because I’m dead in seven days, I got to enjoy myself for. The last week I got so my behavior would be exactly aligned with what my belief would be. But what happens if I was there was a lie, I wasn’t dead in the week, uh oh, I just racked up all my credit cards. I’m not dead now. What do I do now? I’m screwed now, through this podcast that was good. So, so goals. It’s a it’s like Thursday, the that was an inside joke, by the way, for those that are not privy to what that is, so if you know for a fact you’re going to reach a certain outcome. And belief is a very powerful thing. A made up mind is a very dangerous thing. Frank, you know, was in the government, cushy’s job ever only had to work an hour a week at the most. He’ll deny it, all right, because legally he has to, he thinks it’s three, all right. He legally has to deny

Frank
that’s the average. Yes, actually, that is the average on a 7.5 hour day, 3.5

Marco Kozlowski
I said, per week, buddy, not per hour per week. Oh, per week. Well, just because that’s all right, I’ll get plausible deniability. It’s fine. So, so, so and he gave up what nobody would give up because his future didn’t have that in his life, right? He knew that that it would be an anchor as a it would be an anchor that would hold him back, not an anchor that would propel him forward, right? So some want an anchor to stay where they are, and others want a motor to propel them into the next pond. If that makes sense, you want to keep moving. And we get so used to doing the same thing over and over again, and we get comfortable. And then we get uncomfortable. Being comfortable, that’s when we really move forward. And if you know where you’re going, you have a GPS, there’s always going to be reroutes, reroutes, you know? And it’s, it’s, it’s important, actually, which gets to the next that just gave me the idea for the next, the next show. So, oh,

Frank
good. We don’t have to spend an hour you’re in luck. Listeners, you get an hour back.

Gabriel Araish
Yeah? Listeners, don’t feel this. We’re in luck. Frank, we’re in luck. So

Frank
no, that is going back to what you said with the path. Yeah. You have to build your own path, you have to build your own goal. Those are counting goals and and and behave in order to achieve that goal. And just expect that there’s going to be obstacles and challenges. And like Marco said, and Gabe said, if there’s no challenges, you’re probably after nothing. If it’s too easy, you’re probably after nothing. If you’re not growing, you’re dying, yeah, or your goal is not big enough,

Marco Kozlowski
if your goals don’t scare the shit out of you, you’re not dreaming big enough. Yeah,

Gabriel Araish
and again. But that might not be for everyone. But you mean, some people are just comfortable being comfortable and just it doesn’t make sense to me, but it might make sense to someone where, if they’re happy, and, you know, there’s a point where I think some, some is because I have chats with a bunch of different, different parents, right when I go to different kids events that with my son and my daughter, and, you know, I listen to other people speak, and they listen to my story, and then they say, you know, well, you know, I’m good here. I don’t know that I have the, you know, the willpower to kind of do this. I, you know, you can see that there’s a lot of fear in their discussion, and they’re just not comfortable being uncomfortable. Really, they’ve become comfortable with being comfortable, if that makes any sense, and it’s, it’s, it’s a shame, because I, you know, it’s the right and I have to respect it. But you can only ask yourself the question like, What could that person have become? Should they have become comfortable with being uncomfortable? Because that’s really where growth happens as a human being. And, you know, we, we each have our stories. I know that. You know, quitting my job was, was one part of it, just like Frank did, yeah. I mean, moving to Florida was,

Marco Kozlowski
I didn’t mean to, like, demean what you did, too. Because, no, no, that’s not

Gabriel Araish
saying. It’s that everybody has that story. It’s just a question of and we should become uncomfortable multiple times in our lifetimes, not just, like, this one big event, right? Like, like, I said, the work part was one of it, moving countries was a whole other. And I was super uncomfortable. To a certain extent, I’m still uncomfortable, but I’ve kind of become comfortable with that fact, and I believe I’ve grown and I know that if I had to do this move again to another country, tomorrow morning, I’m going to pack up, it’s going to be a lot easier, because I’ve done that before, and I was able to to accomplish it, even though it was hard and it was like, I guess, considered crazy at the time. Now it’s become almost, you know, something that, oh well, you know what? We’ll just back up and leave if we have to. And there’s a lot of events in our lives that are going to be the same, and each of us are different, but just understand that if you’re comfortable, it means that there’s a probably a better version of yourself out there, that you’re, you’re you’re not. To achieve or meet. I say meet more because I think it’s almost like we are different version of ourselves, and they have to meet at one point, and kind of like a relay race right where you kind of hand over the the stick to the next best version of you, and then have them run the rest of the track until they reach the next best version of themselves or of yourself. You and you

Marco Kozlowski
want your next you want your the best version of yourself to be jealous of the version of yourself that surpasses them. Yeah,

Gabriel Araish
that makes sense. That neat, if you think

Marco Kozlowski
about that, yeah, because you, you’ve upgraded your home, like, significantly, right? You, you’ve, you’re, you’re, scared because you’re, you’re, you’re like, am I living out of my means here, right? And follow time if you’re not living out of your means, like, that means, that means you got to surpass it, right? And I heard something else that’s relevant, and I promise we’ll wrap this thing up sooner, because I’m this is something I believe that everyone should really wrap their noodle around. Is, am I being the best version of myself is, is my future self? Am I moving towards surpassing my future self? What my potential is? Got one life, just one. We got to make it the we owe it to our families, our friends, our future selves, all the people that we can impact by being the best version of ourselves, that we are right, and of course, we’re going to stumble along the way. We’re going to make some bad decisions, gonna make some terrible decisions, but those are the things that are necessary to keep us back on track, right? Because on the next on the next podcast, we have to talk about negative feedback loops, which I think is, Oh yeah, yeah. Really, really interesting. But man, I forgot what I was going to say, and it was really good.

Gabriel Araish
Well, I’ll add something in the meantime, we figure it out. It’s funny because there’s another there’s another mentor that I kind of, you know, read about and listen to, and he mentioned something that’s pretty interesting and relevant to this is that, you know, he believes that, you know, on the day of his passing, he will meet what the best version of himself is, and then that’s where the comparison happens. Where have you been able to reach that person or surpass them? Or, you know, are you going to be there and have all this regret, because you’re going to see this amazing version of yourself that could have been and that you’re basically nowhere near that? Wow, that’s powerful. Yeah, don’t want to kill

Frank
myself again. Judgment

Marco Kozlowski
Day is the day that you meet your future self and see if you’ve actually surpassed them, or

Frank
that’s or at

least reached them, right, at least, yeah. It’s like,

Marco Kozlowski
wow, yeah, I just gave you, like, goosebumps. Oh. It’s

Gabriel Araish
more like you should have been me, and that’s even worse. Well, you are you, but you’re a less version of yours. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Yikes. Alright, that’s,

Marco Kozlowski
man, we’re gonna, we’re gonna end it with that, because there’s absolutely nothing I’m gonna say that’s gonna top that. So you just dropped the mic and that was it. So, yeah. So thank you guys and listener for being here and putting up with our shenanigans. Lot of powerful stuff, man, if I highly recommend that you we unpacked a lot, and when we’re you’re used to living in this space and listening to this, you’re, you’re gonna, you’re gonna absorb the things that we dropped very differently, the first time you hear it, the second time you hear it, the third time you hear it, and even the like the ninth time you listen to this, trying to find how many times we said the word goals, goals, goals. And if you do comment and tell us how many times we said the word goals, we might actually give you a little treat. I don’t think we’re going to give you a box tequila, but we’re definitely going to give you some, some good content, actually some, maybe access to some, some some, some content that people would normally have to pay for, and you know, just for, for having some fun with us. Those that pay attention get attention, and those that participate always do well. So we appreciate you very much again. If you like us, love us, share us, tell everybody about us. We appreciate all the great reviews that we’ve had. We’re just talking that we’ve been at this for Since 2024, years now, on and off, and we have still a five star review average, and we like to keep it that way. So we really appreciate your positive feedback. If there’s anything that we can do to increase value to you guys, that’s what we want to do. This has always been authentic. We are who we are. We want to be ourselves, because everyone else is taken so like us, love us, share us, pass us around. You know, write us like a rented meal, enjoy us and we look forward to a future episode. Thanks so much. Guys. Appreciate you see ya on the next episode. Bye for now,